Monday again… I know, I know. Why do I seem to only update on Monday? It’s just that typically Monday’s aren’t fun and this should make me feel like I’ve accomplished something (even though I know that maybe two people will actually read this or give a crap about it). Really, this is now just a way for me to keep track of what’s been happening to me. The days just seem to fly by and this is a good way for me to document the insanity that is now my life.
I had one of those really strange weekends. Friday was especially nuts. Got to see some friends who were visiting, so it was good to see them. Got really really drunk. Got super crazy emotional over what turned out to be a misunderstanding. Felt pretty crappy about Friday all day Saturday and drank more on Saturday night and kinda stuck to myself, as I tend to be a loner and I didn’t want to burden anyone with my feeling down. Didn’t actually confront my hurt feelings until Sunday when I realized that what was said was a misunderstanding and I was probably too drunk to tell the difference. I then cried and realized how deep into this that I am… Then felt a little better.
We went to band practice and realized that I’ve got to really practice up on my guitar skills if I’m going to play for the band. I think the biggest challenge that I’m going to face is that my style is full acoustic sound and I’m not as practiced with the harder style that will be required of me. The good part is that power chords are easy and I’ve just gotta get my speed up to par and practice.
After practice we ran over to see some cool kids play one of their last shows for a while at a house party(ish). It was a pretty good show. I felt old being there. Most of the people there were young scene kids but they had heart and it was kind of refreshing to see the youth being passionate about something as rewarding as music. The only disappointing thing about the show was that some girl got hit by a mosher and it was dumb. I’m sorry, if you go to a hardcore show, expect to be hit… Or figure out that right up front isn’t the best place for some girls. I’m not trying to make any generalizations that girls are weak or anything like that. I’m just saying, be smart. Protect yourself or hang out at the back. That’s the scene. Expect to get a fist or a strong kick to some part of your body. As a girl who used to be young and be able to take the pit, I just wish that some girls weren’t just there for their boyfriends. I wish some of them actually gave a shit about the music. I’m older now. I’ve had my time in the pit. I’ve moshed to the point where my limbs were so sore the next day, that I couldn’t move. So I’ll take my spot at the back now. I’m too old…
But, I digress. All in all, I guess it wasn’t so bad. It was a pretty lazy weekend fueled with alcohol, some much needed hardcore sexy time, Pizza, and Taco Bell which is usually a winning situation for all parties involved. I barely slept last night and am having a hard time focusing because of a growing headache. I’m feeling a little down and emotionally drained from the weekend today (the lack of sleep probably isn’t helping either). It’s hard to feel hopeful about things when it seems like the world is crashing down around you. But I’m trying to keep my head up. Everything isn’t awful.
I finally have a court date to make the divorce official. It seemed to take forever but alas, Sept. 20th I will officially be divorced. It’s weird but I feel like once it’s on paper I may feel like I don’t owe the ex anything. I’ve been struggling lately with feeling guilty that I left him. He’s really been miserable and I feel partly to blame because I took something that made him happy away. It’s not a huge feeling but just a small, nagging one. I know I don’t owe him anything and I know that I’m a happier person, but is it at his expense…? Oh well. Soon it will be over and maybe it will push the current relationship into a more concrete place. I’m just trying to take this one day at a time and not let myself get any deeper (which may not be possible at this point) so that if he leaves me for someone better it won’t hurt so bad….
I have a lot to do this week. I’ve got to get my own work done and get a whole bunch of catering orders out. We’re also getting a new cashier so I’ll have to go out and keep an eye on her for a while but she’s coming from one of our other locations so she shouldn’t need to be babysat for too long. We’re still short a body because we have no dishwasher so I’ll probably have to do some dishes too. All I can say is that I’m not paid enough for this.
Anyways… I’m done. I’ve got to get some work done. Hope everyone has a good week. Chances are you won’t see another update until next Monday (where I inevitably will complain about something again).
Picture of Sonic for good measure: