It’s Friday Bitches!

I’m so very glad that it’s Friday. We’re closing early today. Not that it matters much because I don’t have anything to do tonight. But it’s still a good thing. I also have Monday off for Labor Day so that means it’s a long weekend and a short week back to work. Usually, the short weeks back from a three day weekend seem to drag but hopefully it won’t be too bad next week.

Not much has been happening with my life since the last update. Just work and being lazy. Playing Pokemon White which is awesome. Gonna hang around tonight and draw up a tattoo and probably drink too much and play video games all night. I’ve been having a hankering to play some Battle For Middle Earth so I’m gonna try to get my old desktop computer set back up so I can do that tonight. So between BFME, Pokemon White, Kingdom Hearts, and Alcohol, it should be a pretty good night. 

That’s about all. Hopefully a good weekend to come. 

Obligatory Monday Update

Monday again… I know, I know. Why do I seem to only update on Monday? It’s just that typically Monday’s aren’t fun and this should make me feel like I’ve accomplished something (even though I know that maybe two people will actually read this or give a crap about it). Really, this is now just a way for me to keep track of what’s been happening to me. The days just seem to fly by and this is a good way for me to document the insanity that is now my life.

I had one of those really strange weekends. Friday was especially nuts. Got to see some friends who were visiting, so it was good to see them. Got really really drunk. Got super crazy emotional over what turned out to be a misunderstanding. Felt pretty crappy about Friday all day Saturday and drank more on Saturday night and kinda stuck to myself, as I tend to be a loner and I didn’t want to burden anyone with my feeling down. Didn’t actually confront my hurt feelings until Sunday when I realized that what was said was a misunderstanding and I was probably too drunk to tell the difference. I then cried and realized how deep into this that I am… Then felt a little better.

We went to band practice and realized that I’ve got to really practice up on my guitar skills if I’m going to play for the band. I think the biggest challenge that I’m going to face is that my style is full acoustic sound and I’m not as practiced with the harder style that will be required of me. The good part is that power chords are easy and I’ve just gotta get my speed up to par and practice.

After practice we ran over to see some cool kids play one of their last shows for a while at a house party(ish). It was a pretty good show. I felt old being there. Most of the people there were young scene kids but they had heart and it was kind of refreshing to see the youth being passionate about something as rewarding as music. The only disappointing thing about the show was that some girl got hit by a mosher and it was dumb. I’m sorry, if you go to a hardcore show, expect to be hit… Or figure out that right up front isn’t the best place for some girls. I’m not trying to make any generalizations that girls are weak or anything like that. I’m just saying, be smart. Protect yourself or hang out at the back. That’s the scene. Expect to get a fist or a strong kick to some part of your body. As a girl who used to be young and be able to take the pit, I just wish that some girls weren’t just there for their boyfriends. I wish some of them actually gave a shit about the music. I’m older now. I’ve had my time in the pit. I’ve moshed to the point where my limbs were so sore the next day, that I couldn’t move. So I’ll take my spot at the back now. I’m too old… 

But, I digress. All in all, I guess it wasn’t so bad. It was a pretty lazy weekend fueled with alcohol, some much needed hardcore sexy time, Pizza, and Taco Bell which is usually a winning situation for all parties involved. I barely slept last night and am having a hard time focusing because of a growing headache. I’m feeling a little down and emotionally drained from the weekend today (the lack of sleep probably isn’t helping either). It’s hard to feel hopeful about things when it seems like the world is crashing down around you. But I’m trying to keep my head up. Everything isn’t awful.

I finally have a court date to make the divorce official. It seemed to take forever but alas, Sept. 20th I will officially be divorced. It’s weird but I feel like once it’s on paper I may feel like I don’t owe the ex anything. I’ve been struggling lately with feeling guilty that I left him. He’s really been miserable and I feel partly to blame because I took something that made him happy away. It’s not a huge feeling but just a small, nagging one. I know I don’t owe him anything and I know that I’m a happier person, but is it at his expense…? Oh well. Soon it will be over and maybe it will push the current relationship into a more concrete place. I’m just trying to take this one day at a time and not let myself get any deeper (which may not be possible at this point) so that if he leaves me for someone better it won’t hurt so bad….

I have a lot to do this week. I’ve got to get my own work done and get a whole bunch of catering orders out. We’re also getting a new cashier so I’ll have to go out and keep an eye on her for a while but she’s coming from one of our other locations so she shouldn’t need to be babysat for too long. We’re still short a body because we have no dishwasher so I’ll probably have to do some dishes too. All I can say is that I’m not paid enough for this. 

Anyways… I’m done. I’ve got to get some work done. Hope everyone has a good week. Chances are you won’t see another update until next Monday (where I inevitably will complain about something again). 

Picture of Sonic for good measure:

Image

 

Two posts in a row! I’m on a roll

Here’s some more random bits of writing. None of these have titles or anything. Let’s see if I can get some art up soon.

 

This city of broken glass

brings me to my knees.

It shatters hopes

and crushes dreams.

Walk in silence

and keep your head down.

Wipe away the tears

and don’t even mention your fears.

 

 

I’m sorry I’m a waste of your fucking time.

And it’s not worth it anymore.

But don’t worry,

I’ll be fine.

Just bury me deep down,

that way I can’t get out.

Because when I come back

you’re the first one I’m coming after.

So fuck you

and all the lies you told me.

I won’t take abuse from you anymore.

I’ll find my pain on my own tonight.

 

 

Why do we always want more

from the things we’re given?

Why do I always break

everything I’ve ever held?

 

 

Little lies and black butterflies.

I brought this on myself.

And I’ll try not to fall again.

The pavement catches my tears

and my pillow catches my fists.

Bring me a sunrise

so I can snuff it out.

I really wouldn’t mind helping

to burn this city to the ground.

Another Piss and Moan Monday

Again, it’s Monday and I feel like bitching. I’m not sure what about but I’m just generally having a less than average day.

Good things happened last week though. So I really should have no room to complain. I got my car back, I got a hedgehog (and he is supremely cute), I got Pokemon White (and I can’t wait to start playing it), and I was able to drink two nights in a row this weekend. 

Mondays just seem to emotionally drain me. I feel like everything that I fail at seems to all come creeping up on me on Mondays and kicks my ass. I feel like I’ve hit a pretty huge creative wall/writer’s block and can’t seem to find my way around, over, or under it. 

However, I’m going to post some writing today. These are some songs I’ve been trying to put together. So everyone, grab hold of your hats. Here we go.

 

Marks

(verse 1)

We can’t leave a permanent mark on this world.

The places, the people,

everything we’ve ever done

will be forgotten in time.

 

(verse 2)

We can’t leave a permanent mark on this world.

Our lives, our hearts,

and everything we’ve ever loved

will be forgotten in time.

 

(chorus)

Pull out my eyes

so I can’t see.

Because even the blood stains

will eventually fade.

 

(bridge/refrain)

Everything will fade.

It will all crumble under our feet.

 

Black & Grey

(verse 1)

I was holding the smoking gun.

Waiting for an answer to what I had just done.

I couldn’t see the ground beneath me.

But I had never felt so free.

 

(verse 2)

I threw the dust into my own eyes.

I’m so tired of living these lies.

With my back against this wall,

Is this how I was meant to fall?

 

(chorus)

The sun will rise

On a brand new day.

I still only see in black & grey.

 

I’m not alright

(verse 1)

They tell you that time heals all wounds.

That may be true.

But the scars that remain

Serve as a constant reminder of all the pain.

 

(verse 2)

They told me to be careful of what I wish for.

And that may be true.

But all I’ve ever wanted

Was someone that I could

Call my own.

 

(chorus)

I’m regrettable, replaceable, forgettable.

I’m not alright.

I’m regrettable, replaceable, forgettable.

I’m not alright.

 

(bridge/refrain)

I’m sick.

I’m sick.

Just bring the pain.

I’ll bring the tears.

 

Monday Blues

Well, It’s Monday again and that means that we have a full work week ahead of us. And after a pretty nice weekend, I find myself without a car again… Poor old Rufus. Hopefully he will be towed after I’m done with work and will be done being repaired (again….) by the end of the work day tomorrow. Luckily, the same issue is the cause of all my woes and is under warranty. So hopefully I won’t need to bum rides to and from work for very long. I’m probably just going to be looking for a new car and use Rufus as a trade in. I’m trying to remain positive about not having any money or transportation at the moment, but I’m determined to make it work. I’m not moving back home.

Work last week was complete shit. One of our cooks took a week vacation and left us two bodies short because we also have no dishwasher. So guess who had to do the dishes? That’s right, this girl. It was absolutely disgusting. We are also losing one of our cooks who was filling in for our dishwasher and we’re probably loosing our cashier. Anyone want a job?!?!?

In addition to having to do the dishes last week I also had to put together our Quarterly Business Review of three of our locations on the Comerica account and it was simply put, unpleasant. But that’s been finished and crossed off my list. Thank god! So I finally am able to do my job this week and start prepping my menus and flyers for September. I can’t believe we’re already halfway through August… Where does the time go?

Well, this post certainly ended up being a piss and moan typical Monday rant. Sorry… I should’ve spiked my iced tea this morning. Maybe I’d be in a better mood. :P

I’m planning on posting up some more writing this week and hopefully I can get some new art up. I’ve got a number of tattoos I need to draw for people but I find myself with little to no motivation because of my stress level. Maybe as soon as I figure out this car bs, I’ll be able to focus on my art and writing. Also haven’t picked up my guitar in like a week so I’m in need of a good solo jam session. 

So, I’ll end it with this cute picture of a hedgehog with some serious tubaholism. I really would like to get my hands on one of these little prickle monsters but with 7 geckos that don’t require much attention, I think I’m good right now. I don’t have much time these days and minimal care pets are the way to go. 

Anyways, Happy Monday people. I hope it’s a good one. 

Image